sunnuntai 13. joulukuuta 2015
Psycho – Chapter 1
I have thought of my death many times. How would I do it and when would I do it. The world doesn't need a damaged girl like me. I don't belong in here. But still I continued living. Until that day.
I was 17 year old when I died. My name is Hailey Wray and this is my story.
I'm listening Ed Sheeran on my ipod. I'm listening the lyrics as we drive past houses. You're insane. And we're proof of that.
"When we are there?" I ask impatiently ignoring the voices.
"All most there." Mom says her voice monotonic, never shifting her sigh from the road ahead.
The car drives to the yard and I hop out of the car, my bag on my shoulder. I took two boxes with my name on them and start to move towards the house. Mom shouts behind me but I won't listen. I turn the music louder.
At the window I see something move. I sigh, already used to this situation. You're going to die in this house, a new voice says. Great. Just what I needed. I sigh and open the door to walk in. It's a huge house. I take a stroll and head to the upstairs. I pick up a room at the end of the hallway and go inside. It's bigger than my precious room. I take my bag and boxes to the bed and sit down next to them. I would be alone at home, mom wouldn't be around really much. She doesn't like me very much. Not after she heard the diagnose. That I'm crazy. She couldn't handle that and started to work like a lunatic. How ironic that is. Anyways, now I just have to unpack. I took my drawings out of the first box and find a place for them on the wall. I open my other box and took my things out of it. Mostly clothes and other things like bedding's. I took the pillow and my pillow case to change it into it. After I finished the bed, I took all my clothes and put them on my new wardrobe. The house looks old but interesting. I sit down on my bed and sigh. I see that Jerry is in the ceiling looking at me. Jerry is quiet and won't say anything. He kind of looks like a human. He doesn't have face thought. And his body is twisted in different angles that are impossible for human. He just is. I chuckle at him. I took my sketchbook and start to draw Jerry. After drawing about ten minutes I went downstairs to look around. Mom is at the kitchen placing things on their own places. Absolutely bored, I watch her for a while and then decide to go look for something interesting. I find a door. I open it and see stairs going down. Nope. I shut the door quickly and decide to go back to my room. At my room I look at my pictures. Many of them are dark and rough. Then I decide that I would watch some horror movie. I took my laptop and horror movie collection. I pick up the one on top of the pile. It. I watch it the monsters next to me. I ignore them like usual and try to concentrate on the movie. And again as I watch a horror movie I don't feel anything. I sigh in boredom and decide to go to sleep.
Next morning I wake up and go downstairs. My mom left a note at the fridge. 'There is money on the table. Take your medicine! I come back tomorrow.' I sigh in irritation. Always working. I look at the medicine frowning. I took the pills in my hand and go to the bathroom. I drop the pills to the toilet. I smile as I flush the toilet. Goodbye pills, welcome freedom. I took the money on my pocket and look inside the fridge. There is enough food. I don't need to go outside for a while. I go up to my room and start to draw. I spend couple of hours drawing on my room. After I'm done, I place them in front of me and look at them. I took my favorites and place them on the wall next to my bed. I lay on my bed bored. What to do?
I'm on the shower. I'm washing my hair when I see a silhouette on the other-side of the shower curtain. I stop to look at it and decide to just continue. It's probably nothing. Another hallucination.
I'm half asleep. There is a man sitting on the chair next to my bed.
"Go to sleep Hailey." he whispers. I fall asleep.
I'm eating breakfast. I catch a glimpse of blond hair. Weird. I thought to myself and chuckle.
I'm writing my story Haunted when suddenly I feel someones breath on my nape. I continue writing but the breathing won't stop. I try my neck with my hand. Nothing. Maybe it's the wind.
Weeks passes. Mom bought more food from the shop. I haven't really eaten that much in the pass week. I haven't been hungry. Mom doesn't care. She let's me do what ever I want. I go up to my room to listen to music. I'm drawing when I hear a knock at the door. I look up and see a boy my age. He has curly blonde hair and dark eyes. He smiles at me. He somehow seems familiar.
"Hailey, this is Tate. Tate Langdon. He come to say hi." my mom says smiling beside him. I look confused at her. Is this her twisted plan to make me more social?
"Um, hi Tate. Come in." I say and Tate comes to sit beside me.
"Nice to meet you, Hailey. I heard you don't go to school."
"Um yeah, I don't."
"That's great. I don't go to school either. We can hung out if you want?"
"Uh, okay I guess." Tate smiles a bright smile.
"Did my mom... Say anything else about me?" I ask looking at him not sure why he would be here spending time with me. Tate looks at me for a second before answering.
"Nothing really." he says looking past me at the window.
"Uhm..." I start but then stop to think. What you say in situations like these? Ask him about the things he likes. And tell him about you. A voice whispers. Yes, that's right!
"What hobbies do you have?"
"Oh, I don't really have hobbies but I like to watch people. How about you? I already saw your drawings. They are amazing." He says smiling. I blush to his comment and bring my hand to hide it.
"Well, as you said I draw but I love reading."
"Cool. I like reading too. Like Byron." Tate looks cute. He would never look at you that way. Shut up.
"Hailey, what's wrong?" Tate says worried. And again I'm doing it. The voice laughs.
"I'm fine. I just..." Don't you dare tell him about us! "It's nothing."
"Hailey, you can talk to me." Tate says smiling a kind smile.
"Okay. It's nothing really."
"Okay then. But tell me if something is wrong, alright?"
"I guess so."
"So how was the lover-boy?" My mom asks as she comes in the kitchen.
"Mom!" I say in surprise, my face is beet red. My mom just laughs and takes a cup from the cupboard.
"So how did it go?" mom says looking interested at me. Observing every move I make. I sigh. She fills her cup with tee.
"Okay, I guess. He seems interesting." My mom smiles and sips from her cup.
"You know, you could hang out with him when I'm at work." she gives me a weak smile as she drinks from her cup. She still feels uneasy with me around. Well, I aren't really a child you wish for.
"... I guess so."
"Well now I have to go. Here is money for this week." She hands me the money and leaves. I stand there for a moment. That's the only actual conversation with my mom for months. I Recall the events inside my head. The reason we moved here.
That night I dreamed about Tate. At the morning I don't remember what kind of dream it was, but I still remember that it was about Tate. I chuckle. I jump out of the bed and went downstairs. I'm eating breakfast (drinking coffee) when I hear a knock at the door. I get up to open the door and see Tate.
"Morning." Tate says smiling. I let him in.
"Morning. Do you want breakfast?" I ask. I look at myself at the mirror and see that I still have my pajamas on. Or pajama shirt if we are exact. I blush and face Tate.
"I-I go to change clothes. I come back in a minute." As I go upstairs I can hear Tate's chuckle from behind. I went to my room and put on some clothes. A t-shirt and jeans. I look at my hair. It's a mess. I took a brush from the desk. After that I go downstairs and find Tate in my kitchen.
"Sorry about that." I say awkwardly.
"I don't mind." he says smiling.
"W-What would you want to do?" Damn it my shuttering.
"We could go to your room."
"Okay." We went up to my room. We sit on my bed and sit next to each other. I play with my t-shirt's hem.
"Are you feeling better now?" Tate asks looking worried.
"Yeah, much better. Sorry about yesterday."
After that awkward conversation we talk about the things we like and dislike.
"Why don't you go to school anymore?" I ask interested.
"They kicked me out. How about you?"
"I haven't gone to school after the diagnose. I'm not strong enough." I say sadly looking at the ground. "I can't get a job or anything. Probably never."
"Are you comfortable enough to speak about it? I know we just met and all..."
"Thank you. I promise I'll tell you about it when I'm ready." I say smiling a little. Tate is so sweet.
"You just have to know that you're not alone." Tate says smiling a sweet smile. My eyes feels watery.
"Okay." I say my voice shaking.
"I should probably go. It's evening already."
"Oh. Yeah. I'll come down with you." I say standing up. We went downstairs. We said good byes and Tate left. Maybe it's not bad to have a friend.